


high school ladies

by kingofthelosers



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: F/F, F/M, In Trousers References, M/M, charlotte is cool, cordelia is chaotic baby, jason based, mendel is a nerd, the author loves mendel, whizzer loves marvin :')
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 18:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20679791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingofthelosers/pseuds/kingofthelosers
Summary: in which jason has far too many dads and the tight knit family attempt to help said jason ask a girl out.





	1. Chapter 1

For the most part, Jason enjoyed school. He liked playing baseball, he liked learning and he had made a couple friends.

What he didn't enjoy though, was the way he was greeted when he exited said school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey! Jase!” Cordelia called, outstretching her arms, beckoning the teenager over. 

Jason shuffled awkwardly in her direction, letting himself be submerged in her arms.

“I know you were gonna get the bus today, but I thought I'd surprise you! I had a day off, so…”

Jason did appreciate Cordelia using her day off to see him, but she didn't have to hug him in front of everybody! It had taken him this long to make friends, and-

At Jason’s concerned expression, Cordelia furrowed her eyebrows, frowning.

“Do you not want me here? Is someone bullying you?” she lowered her voice. “Is there a girl you like?”

Jason looked up, fiddling with his glasses. Cordelia gasped. “Oh my god, there is! Does your dad know?”

He huffed out a sigh, giving in. “None of my dads know, not even mom knows.”

Cordelia squealed with glee at being the first to know about something. “Goodness! Is she pretty? Is she here? What's her name? ….Is she Jewish?”

The boy gave her a questioning look.

“Sorry, sorry. Your mom will probably want to know.”

He rolled his eyes. “She's called Hannah, she's not here right now, she's… she's really pretty and yeah, she is.” 

She squealed again, leading Jason out of the gates. “Your secret’s safe with me, honey. Can I tell Charlotte, though?”

“No! Charlotte’ll tell my dad!”

“Jason, you've gotta be more specific.”

“Marvin! She'll tell Marvin.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charlotte and Jason leaned on the school gate, looking inwards at the remaining people in the school and wolfing down ice cream.

“Is that her? That's your girl?” Charlotte asked, nodding her head at a petite girl with long brown hair and bright blue eyes. 

Jason smiled shyly. “Yeah, that's her.”

“You gonna ask her out?” The doctor asked, grinning.

He grew quiet, avoiding Charlotte’s eyes. “She doesn't even know I exist, Lottie.” 

Charlotte put her arm around Jason’s shoulder, nodding sympathetically. “I’ve been there, hon. It's tough, but you gotta just talk to her. I'm sure she won't hate you. Hell, you do baseball! Girls love that, I've heard.” She winked, tapping Jason’s cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don't think she likes me, dad.” Jason murmured, trailing along after him and fiddling with his baseball glove. 

Marvin smirked. “She will. You said five words to her, kid. She's not gonna fall in love with you after ‘sorry, I didn't mean to’ after you bumped into her.” 

“How did it happen with Whizzer?”

“Well, he didn't love me until, uh… I don't know, actually. You'll have to ask him. It took more than five words, though.”

Jason nodded, smiling up at his father. The rare days when Marvin came to pick him up were some of his favourites, they were able to just sit in comfortable silence together- occasionally sharing smiles and snippets of wisdom. 

“You're so cool, Jase. When I was your age I had a maid.”

Jason grinned. “So what?”

“I was a dumb teenager. I was rich- too rich, and lonely, and aggressive. You're the most mature person I know and you're like, more than half my age.” 

The boy was really enjoying hearing about his father as a teenager- he seemed to be an eternal adult to him. 

“What else did you do?”

“I, uh… I wasn't very happy. I stuck chalk in my ear, I had even more giddy seizures, I tried to to something unspeakable to one of my teachers and then I met your mother.” 

Jason blinked. “Do you wanna go to the park?”

“Sure, son.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Whizzer hi fived Jason, grinning widely. “Well done, kid! More than five words this time!”

Jason nodded enthusiastically. “I know, right! And she actually smiled at me! Hannah knows I exist for real this time!” 

The man unlocked the door to their apartment, throwing the keys on the kitchen counter and opening the cupboard he and Marvin reserved specifically for confectionary. 

“Go wild.”

Jason did so, stuffing his face with marshmallows as Whizzer interrogated him on the day’s events. 

“So you're her lab partner now?”

The boy nodded, barely able to smile over his full mouthful of candy. “Yah, I know! So this means she’ll like, have to come over to my house and study!” 

Whizzer beamed, then hummed. “Which house do you consider yours?”

He swallowed the mouthful, flopping down on the couch. “Mom and Mendel’s, I guess. I’m there more and most of my stuff’s there.”

The tall man sat down next to him, nodding. “That's fair.”

“Whizzer?”

“Yuh huh?”

“When did you fall in love with my dad?”

“Who, Mendel?”

Jason giggled. “Shut up.”

Whizzer mocked offence but nibbled his lip in thought. “I'm not sure, really. One day I just sorta realised.”

“Dad always told me it was when you called him sweetheart for the first time, but I think he's lying. I bet it's the first time you two had sex or something.”

Whizzer laughed. “Yeah, I wouldn't put that past your dad.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason slammed the car door as he got in, bouncing in his seat. “She's coming over!” 

Mendel did excitable jazz hands, which turned to nervous jazz hands. “Now?”

“No, next week!”

Back to excited. “Oh my god! That's so cool, nothing that cool happened to me in high school. You'd be like, my idol in high school.”

“‘Del, you told me you fell into a bush trying to talk to a girl in high school.”

“Exactly! You can actually talk to a girl without being defeated by shrubbery, I'm proud, kid.”

The two grinned as Mendel drove, talking about their respective days.

“A guy asked me what to do when you have a crush on your psychiatrist.”

Jason blinked, then clocked. “Oh, jeez.”

“Yuh huh.”

“Well, I got called cool by my stepfather, so who's the real winner here.”

Mendel beamed. “Do you call me your stepfather to the other kids?”

“Yeah, ‘course. My friend’ll be like, ‘who's that short dude waving his arms around?’ and I’ll be like, ‘Ohh, that's my stepdad. He's chill.’”

The so mentioned short dude looked to be on the verge of tears. “I- I’m chill?”

“Yeah, you're alright.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So she's called Hannah?”

“Yeah.”

“She's pretty?”

“Uh huh.”

“She's Jewish?”

“Mmm.”

“She's your lab partner?”

“Correct.”

Trina nodded slowly, snapping the pasta to put in a pan. She tied up her apron, turning to Jason and leaned against the kitchen counter.

“When can I meet her?”

Jason beamed. “I'm not sure, we’ve got a project soon and she'll probably wanna come over to do it-”

“The project, you mean?” She raised an eyebrow.

“The project.” He confirmed. “I’m so glad you're okay with it, I thought you wouldn't be but dad told me you would be.”

She breathed in. “Marvin?”

“Guess again.”

“Mendel?” 

“Nope.”

“Whizzer?”

“Third time’s a charm!”

She huffed. “Am I the last to know?”

Jason made a face. “Maybe.”

“I'm always the last to know!”

  
  



	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jason's family embarrass him, basically

Jason was abysmal at talking to girls.  _ Abysmal.  _ He was abysmal at talking to people normally, and stick a pretty face and gorgeous hair and bright blue eyes and-

Hannah blinked. “Uh, Jason. The bell rang, school’s over.”

The boy fidgeted awkwardly, standing up and avoiding her eye contact. “Oh, uh, thanks. You're still on for tomorrow?” He asked nervously.

She nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah, of course! Will I meet your mom and dad?”

Jason furrowed his eyebrows. “It's complicated.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Trina paced around the living room, much to the exasperation of Mendel. 

“Darling, it’ll be okay.”

“He's growing up, Mendel! What am I supposed to do?” Her voice began to verge on hysterical, “I mean, what if we embarrass him and he never talks to us again or what if he hates us-”

“Trina.” Mendel cut her off, taking her hands and running a hand through her hair. “Jason is not gonna hate us. Yeah, we’ll probably embarrass him, but so what? Plus- we’ll have Whizzer and Marvin there for moral support, so-”

Trina gasped. “Shit, I forgot they were coming! Oh my god, Marvin’s gonna kill the child. Marvin is gonna kill Jason’s new girlfriend and Whizzer will scare her away. Jason’s new girlfriend is gonna be terrified of us.”

He rolled his eyes. “It'll be fine, darling. Calm down.”

~~~~~~~

Jason inhaled deeply as they arrived at the front door, surprised he managed to make it this far without confessing his undying love for his new lab partner. He turned to her before ringing the doorbell.

“Now, uh, I have to warn you, there's a lot of us.”

Hannah narrowed her eyes. “Like, brothers and sisters?”

Jason shook his head. “No, I'm an only child. So, there's my mom.”

She nodded.

“My stepdad.”

She opened her mouth, then shut it, looking worried. “I'm sorry, is that what was complicated? I didn't mean to assume about your parents, I-”

“My dad… and…”

Her face grew even more confused.

“My dad and his boyfriend.” Jason let out a breath, ever terrified about the reaction to his father’s sexuality.

Hannah took a moment to process this, then nodded. “But… but how will I know which one is which?”

Jason grinned as he rang the doorbell, letting out a sigh of relief.

The door creaked open and a visibly nervous Trina Weisenbachfeld stood behind it. 

“Mom, this is Hannah, and Hannah, this is my mom.”

Hannah outstretched her hand for Trina to shake and Trina accepted with enthusiasm.

“Nice to meet you Mrs Weiss- Mrs Weizan-”

“Just call me Trina.” She smiled.

Trina quickly retreated to the kitchen, careful not to impose too much on her son and his crush. Jason then lead Hannah into the living room where Mendel sat cross-legged on the couch.

“That's my stepdad, Mendel.”

Mendel jumped up excitably, shaking Hannah’s hand with vigour. “I've heard so much about you! Jason thinks you're pretty cool.”

Jason made a face at Mendel.

“Uhm- and if you ever need a psychiatrist-” he smiled, giving her a thumbs up. “I’m your guy.”

The boy smiled then immediately dragged Hannah upstairs. “He's not your guy. He's awful. Please don't ever see him for advice.”

Hannah giggled. “He's funny.”

~~~~

Mendel found himself being pulled by the back of his turtleneck into the kitchen. 

“What is this, some secret kitchen meeting?” He asked.

“Mendel, this is serious!” Trina whispered.

“If this is serious and not a kitchen meeting then why are you whispering?” Mendel whispered.

She glared at him. “We haven't had a girl in this house since that client who had a crush on you.”

“Yeah, she just showed up. Like, we didn't even have an appointment or anything-”

“Mendel!”

“Right, sorry. Yeah, it is kinda weird. I'm used to Jason being the dork who didn't talk and played chess but he's like, an actual teenager now. It's weird.”

Trina nodded in agreement. “Weird.”

~~~~~~~

Jason and Hannah found themselves being called down for dinner after an hour of working on their project- if working on their project meant Jason making moon eyes at Hannah and Hannah doing most of the work.

This was the moment Jason had been dreading all day. They sat down at the round dinner table, the boy eyeing up the two empty seats and praying to  _ God  _ that they weren't coming and-

The doorbell rang. Desperate for something to do, Mendel got up and opened it. Whizzer and Marvin entered, chattering as they did so. 

“Why are you two so late?” Trina asked, exasperated. 

  
  


“We’re gay, Trina, do you think we’d just like, be early?” Whizzer joked, flopping down at the table and turning to Hannah. “Oh my god, hi! I'm Whizzer, I'm Jason’s dad’s boyfriend.” 

Hannah nodded shyly. “Hi.”

Marvin nodded at her, giving her a somewhat stern look. “I’m Marvin, I'm Jason’s father.”

A look of fear ghosted across Hannah’s face. Whizzer snorted.

“Marv, look at you trying to be the strict dad. He's a dork, Hannah. I promise.”

Mendel nodded, confirming this. “He loses at Mario Kart, and not even ironically.”

Marvin gaped. “Will any of you just let me be for once?”

Hannah was beginning to like these people.

~~~~~

After dinner, Jason took Hannah to the front door as her mom had come to pick her up.

“Hey, uh, I'm sorry about my family. I know Mendel’s too much and my mom is nervous and Whizzer’s loud and my dad is scary…”

Hannah took Jason’s hand in hers. Jason could have fainted.

“Hey, hey… today was really nice. Your family are pretty cool, actually. Your mom is sweet, your stepdad’s really funny and so’s Whizzer and… I'm still a little scared of your dad. But it's okay because they actually like, talked to me. And…” she paused, looking down. “You're really nice too. Same time next week?” She offered.

Jason nodded enthusiastically. “Of- of course.”

She smiled, opening the front door and walking down the driveway to get in the car.

_ Had he- had he just got himself a date? _

~~~~~~

Jason entered the dining room, grin on his face. “Guys! Thank you so much!”

They all gave him confused looks. 

“I’m seeing her again next week! She really liked you guys!”

Confused yet pleasantly surprised, the boy’s family congratulated him. Mendel yet again jumped out of his chair, bounding over to Jason to give him a hug. “Did she say anything about me?”

Jason nodded proudly. “She said you and Whizzer were funny, and that mom’s sweet, and…”

Marvin sighed. “What?”

“She's still kinda scared of you. But that's normal, right? You're my dad.” 

The curly haired man nodded as Whizzer wrapped his arms around his waist. “Awh, your son's new girlfriend doesn't like you!” He teased.

Marvin rolled his eyes, kissing Whizzer to shut him up. “She will.”

“She's not even my girlfriend, dad.”

Whizzer scoffed. “She's totally into you, Jase! Honestly, you're so oblivious.”

“He gets it from his father.” Trina sighed.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading xx

**Author's Note:**

> three fics in a ROW what. comments appreciated x


End file.
